10 Hits, 1 Run, 1 Long, Loud Sigh

The Dodgers have temporarily gotten the Andruw Jones monkey off there back, so now all he is costing us is large gobs of McCourt's money. One thing I can say for Colletti, he does not seem to mind wasting someone else's money.

Exhibit A: Esteban Loaiza, who was picked up in some desperate attempt to shore up our pitching at the end of last year. Billy Beane was anxious to dump him. Perhaps that should have given Ned pause, but it did not. Well, the Dodgers have finally accepted that they might have gotten a lemon, which came as a surprise to just about no one who was asked whether the deal was a good one before it was made. Which was also no one. Anyway, ignoring my convoluted logic (or lack there of), Loaiza has now been designated for assignment. So... What would you have done with 7 million more dollars? I would have gotten a bitchin' solid gold Yoda statue.

18 Carat He Is.


Where was I? Oh yes. We are experiencing an Andruw intermission, which puts the Outwatch back on solid and familiar footing. Juan Pierre is playing every day and it is a travesty.

Right now there is double-duty pressure keeping Juan in the line-up. Dodgers needs a third outfielder and Dodgers need lead-off man. We all hope and pray to the God Who Looks Over Damaged Back Muscles that he take pity on us all and return Furcal to the line-up, which will remove the lead-off issue and stop us from writing another "Juan is actually, despite his speed, a bad lead-off hitter" article.

As to the third outfielder position... Torre seems perfectly willing to leave in Kemp in Center Field, where he seems to be doing well. In fact, he might actually be a good center fielder. He doesn't always read the ball off the bat well, but he is fast as hell and has a gun for an arm. So Pierre is playing a lot of left field. One of the biggest available power positions given daily to a man who hasn't hit a home run in two years.

That ain't right. It just ain't. I would go so far as to say it isn't right and now you know I am serious, because my grammar improved (no worries, true believers, it won't hold). So I would like to put it on the table right here, right now:

Juan should be replaced in left by Delwyn Young. There. I said it. And if you don't like him, how about LaRoche who is eating AAA pitchers alive and spitting out their bones. Dewitt has usurped the 3rd base position, so LaRoche is needing a place to play. If we are to keep letting Kent limp along (likely for another month at least), left field is the best place to put him.

I am not greedy. We can start with Juan just sitting out against lefties. We'll see how the platooning goes and move on from there.

See? I am being reasonable. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I am angry.

[Cue swelling music; JimBilly4 with a thumb raised on a dusty, lonely highway; superimpose growling jade behemoth over JimBilly4's boyish good lucks; fade music; fade to black; one distant, haunting man-roar echoes over remaining credits; commercial for soap detergent]